Stop This Train: On Growing Older (2/14/2022)

 I've been listening to Continuum again, because I saw some random YouTube video about the intricate songwriting on the album. Continuum has never been my favorite John Mayer album, but it's not like I disliked it or anything. I just mostly thought it was for guitar nerds to geek out over, and unfortunately I don't know how to play guitar so most of it was probably just going over my head. But as I grow older into young adulthood, I think the lyrics on some of the songs are starting to really resonate with me.

There's still a fair share of the classical John Mayer™ love songs on the album, but I think the ones that hit the hardest are the ones that talk about John's dissatisfaction with growing up. "Waiting on the World to Change" has this overall feeling of the world being unfair and hard to deal with, and being powerless to do anything. Mayer may have been 28 years old when he wrote this, but these lyrics almost perfectly reflect my current state of not really feeling as though I am an adult yet, and being powerless in the overall state of the world. I guess that feeling will last for another ten years, at least. One example of this feeling of powerlessness in the overall state of the world is reflected in these lyrics:

Now if we had the power

To bring our neighbors home from war

They woulda never missed a Christmas

No more ribbons on their door

This anti-war message feels almost relevant in today's modern age, with Ukraine about to be invaded by Russia. Of course, in the grand scheme of things, this happening won't actually change my day to day life as some random person living in America, but there are still large scale implications of what could happen if this does go through. If Russia can do this, what's stopping China from taking over Taiwan, for example? That does actually matter to me, as a Taiwanese American, and I'm powerless to do anything.

My undeniable favorite song from this album, however, is "Stop This Train," which compares life to a train ride. As evident in the song title, John just wants to stop the passage of time and stay where he is. Being a young adult can suck, but I think part of it is also a dread of the future that is to come. He talks about his parents dying as he gets older, which is also something I used to have fears about. Back in around late middle school, I had these recurring nightmares about one or both of my parents dying, and me needing to take care of my brother by myself, and those lyrics remind me of some of the things I felt during that time, when I realized that for a good section of my late life my parents won't be around anymore. 

But just as I eventually grew out of that phase, at the end of the song, John also starts to realize that growing up is a part of life, and it isn't all bad. He talks about having a conversation with his father, who tells him that he was once also in the same space as John is currently, and that he has learned to accept that growing up and eventually dying is just a part of life:

He said "Turn 68, oh, you'll re-negotiate"

"Don't stop this train

Don't for a minute change the place you're in

And don't think I couldn't ever understand

I tried my hand

John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

When I grow older, it's nice to realize that my parents were once in the same situation I was in, and they are always people I could go to if I needed help. I think growing older has helped me better understand my parents, and I think I have way better relationship with them now than I did just a few years ago. Perhaps, maybe growing up won't be all bad.